I coughed badly today.
I did not join my beloved colleagues for lunch. 3 of them asked me for reason after that, which I am glad. Thank you, my dear friends.
I have reasons, although I only gave them the 1st one only.
This is called white lies (lies that is truth but not the complete answer)~ quote from a book a dear friend lent me.
Reasons
1) I coughed, I do not want to spread.
2) I began my second sliming program (after the 1st one did so well), target is 4Kg this round.
3) I am going into the 'man in the cave' mode (see the book 'Man are from Mars, Woman are from Venus') due to the 4th reason.
4) This is the main reason, I am going to meet a 9 years old friends, twice ex-colleague, and my best man during my wedding tomorrow for lunch. I have been avoiding him for sometime already. Meeting him trigger a lot of memories, sweet during then, pain now. We knew each other nine years ago as colleagues, both graduated overseas. I am from UK, and he is from Australia. We are good friends and we knew both our wifes through our work, courting them. We helped in each other's wedding. We parted and join different company 2 years later. Fate made us became colleagues again in my current company for nearly another 5 years. He is going to be the father 3rd times soon. Congrats. Of course, I know he is a good friend, but meeting him came with many many memories of my now separated wife which pain me everytime I think of it.
Of course, it is not his fault, it is my self-pityness. I will conquer the feeling tomorrow. I have been avoiding this feeling long enough. But that does not mean I am not sad. And thanks to him for his undying friendship all this 9 years.
I will be isolating myself this week. What time I am 'leaving the cave' will depends on my effort to overcome the pain again. The more I face it, the more I can take it. At the very least, this is what I hope and what I believe.
Friends who worried for me. Have no fear, I will be okay. If you read this, I knew you will be there for me when I am ready.
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13 comments:
When there is sunlight there is a hope no matter what! Take yourself care and be brave to confront those ups and downs in reality even it's pain somehow.
God will always be with you. You aren't really alone!
take care. he will understand it. remember he is also there for you. he say that he is very concerned about you. my suffering is nothing compared to yours.That is quite true.
是觸景生情嗎?也許是有些事情從來沒有放下,給自己一點點時間,希望你出洞的時候,會再次見到sunshine~ take care! ^^
Aren't you glad that you are already making the first move ! > getting to meet him !?
If you run away from a problem, it will haunt after you. Face it and resolve it. It may be tough, It may take time BUT sunshine is waiting for you at the end.
I suppose you name your blog 'sunshine' also hoping you'll get out of darkness as soon as u can !
We'll always stand by ...
Eden, thanks for reminding me the objective of my blog!.
Corrine, you are my example of 'out of the cave', I will be there.
風信子,史路比, although we have not met before, we have known each other through our written words. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I will be back soon.
Dear Sunlight,
Have been thinking for quite a while before I left my note here.
You must have had a hard time before and even now, and you may still be experiencing poor feelings now. I believe you have been doing your best to get it through. I pray that you got the courage and persistence to go on.
Beautiful days and fruitful times are ahead for you.
Carrie
P.S. Its my fortune to read your true-hearted sharing of feelings here.
All the best. I don't really know what to say. I am a very emotional person and I don't really know how to handle sad feelings. I can just wish you well.
Thanks, Carrie.
I am very glad to receive your encouragement. When love is gone, friendship (also a kind of love) is one of the few things that support me now.
Your notes will add to my strength.
I will always leave my true feeling in my blog, because only the friends who care will make an effort to read them.
Ruth, I knew you are a emotional person, may be more emotional than me. I hope my experience does not cause you any sadness. It is never my intention to cause friends sadness in my blog. Lets get well together, and healthy too. Thanks for leaving your blessing here too.
people remember this quote: Life is tougher, get tough.
Be positive.
:-)
Should be life is tough, get tougher.
We all have a past we can't get away with. Read you comment in Hyacinthus's blog. I hope I am as strong as you and others. But as I always say, if there's a choice, I don't want to be strong.
If you don't mind sending me your e mail address, I would like to share my Masquerade photos with you.
Tomorrow is another day!
^~
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