My dad and I

My dad called, he told me he is bored and do not know what to do.

My dad is always the 'head of the house', the king. Since the family formed, he is always the man in charge, but he is a tyrant. The only house rule he have is 'Whatever I say or I do, I am always right, and you must agree with me'.
We are living in fear under his shadow for more than twenty-five years. I remember well that I am not allowed to wear jean, because it project a 'gangster' image, same as having a haversack. I always wore pants and sling school bag. Anything I do wrong, I will be punished. His punishment is always mental torture, he will always take away things we love or introduce and forced us to do things we do not want. Any quarrel will not end within a week and are likely to last for weeks. He has no friends due to his character. He always says friends are meant to be used; only make friends if you can use them. What kind of teaching is this?

My mum is an orphan, she have no where to run, and she is always taking care of myself and my brother. She has always suffered dearly in our growth.

7 years ago, we can stand him no more. He objected to my courtship, due to my then girlfriend (my separated wife now) is not a Cantonese as who we are. This is absolutely absurd; she is at the very least a Chinese Singaporean. We left, we rented a house and stay together till my marriage and I got a Jumbo flat for my family, my mum and my brother staying together. I knew what he want, he always wanted me to married someone rich.

My mum and my brother don't want to talk to him anymore. I think it is fair. Although I still contact him as and when, as least to know that he is ok and I visited him at times too. At the very least, he is still my dad.

Today, he told me he is bored. I wanted to say, I am lonely and I am staying alone too. But I didn't. I did not tell him I am separated. I do not want him to know that I have family problem as he is now. What an irony, I left home for my marriage and now what I get is just an empty home as he. The difference is I do not know what I am wrong, and he knew exactly what is wrong but unable to change (my mum did tried to reunite with him for a year, but he goes back to square one).

I am on leave on Friday, I will be paying him a visit and we will go bowling together. I knew he is healthy; I am worried about his mental health, because he does not have friends as he hurt all his friends. He has hurt me badly too, undeniable but he is still my dad. He is still family.