After the bowling session with dad, he asked me to send his regard to you.
I do not know what to say, 是我不好？ 还是你变了吗？
无印良品 - 是你变了吗
作词：林慧思作曲：光良
真想和你聊一聊天
很想看看你温柔的容颜
多想听你说自己并没有变
很想看我们从前的照片
多想和你再接近一点
你现在的心是靠在谁的身边
是你变了吗我的影子笑我的人好傻
是你变了吗我已经跟不上你的步伐
是你变了吗对你的感觉应该停止吧
已经不明白你的想法已经不再看见你眼中的牵挂
真想和你聊一聊天
很想看看你温柔的容颜
努力说服自己你没有变
很想看我们从前的照片
多想和你再接近一点
你现在的他是否真已从心所愿
是你变了吗我的影子笑我的人好傻
是你变了吗我已经跟不上你的步伐
是你变了吗对你的感觉应该停止吧
已经不明白你的想法已经不再看见你眼中的牵挂
Friday, September 30, 2005
A day on leave
Today, I am on leave.
It is cleaning day. After 3.5 hrs of mopping, ironing, etc... Phew... it is done.
After this blog, I will go for lunch (yummy), back to office to clear some work. Sigh, since Reginald left, I have no backup to fall upon. Then I will go for a swim at Mount Faber SAFRA Club. As promised, I will meet my dad for bowling after the swim.
Not very eventful huh? Well, I got to clear leaves anyway, I did not plan for any holiday for this year end and I think I still got around 9 days to clear. So, why not? take a break.
Hope the afternoon sun is good, I will like some tanning.
Today, be happy and no worry. No. not only today, it should be everyday...
It is cleaning day. After 3.5 hrs of mopping, ironing, etc... Phew... it is done.
After this blog, I will go for lunch (yummy), back to office to clear some work. Sigh, since Reginald left, I have no backup to fall upon. Then I will go for a swim at Mount Faber SAFRA Club. As promised, I will meet my dad for bowling after the swim.
Not very eventful huh? Well, I got to clear leaves anyway, I did not plan for any holiday for this year end and I think I still got around 9 days to clear. So, why not? take a break.
Hope the afternoon sun is good, I will like some tanning.
Today, be happy and no worry. No. not only today, it should be everyday...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Tonight - Table Tennis and Debate
Tonight, the 3 of us practice table tennis again. No other players from other department came. We have the table for ourselves. I won 16 out of 18 sets (11 balls). I lack fury and momentum. I am not moving enough. May be it is due to frequent changes of opponent (the loser will rotates). When 1 left, the 2 of us have more serious practice, playing full 21 balls match. This time, I am at my best, winning 5 straight sets, move a lot and attack with great fury (狮子搏兔,全力以赴). If I can maintain this level of play, I will be happy. I prefer playing singles, instead of double. Preferring to rely on myself, am I anti-social? I hope not.
Reaching home, it is almost 9.30pm. After bathing, I turn on my recorded program on debate. It is a Hong Kong University vs a Taiwan University. Such enough, the best speaker 黄执中 from Taiwan performed very well, he spoke in a calm and clear way, support with powerful examples. It is a close fight as the debate title does not favour either side, it is ‘专才比通才更吃得开’. I predict that Taiwan will win 3 to 2 votes. Unfortunately, it is the other way, Hong Kong won 3 to 2 votes. It will be Hong Kong vs China for the next round. It is good match, but the starting is poor, both side’s first speaker stutter when they define the term and introduce their points and grounds, and they are referring to their notes far too frequently. They should have practice enough to speak smoothly without referring in such important matches.
It is late and I felt tired… to bed now…Sweet dream (to myself).
Reaching home, it is almost 9.30pm. After bathing, I turn on my recorded program on debate. It is a Hong Kong University vs a Taiwan University. Such enough, the best speaker 黄执中 from Taiwan performed very well, he spoke in a calm and clear way, support with powerful examples. It is a close fight as the debate title does not favour either side, it is ‘专才比通才更吃得开’. I predict that Taiwan will win 3 to 2 votes. Unfortunately, it is the other way, Hong Kong won 3 to 2 votes. It will be Hong Kong vs China for the next round. It is good match, but the starting is poor, both side’s first speaker stutter when they define the term and introduce their points and grounds, and they are referring to their notes far too frequently. They should have practice enough to speak smoothly without referring in such important matches.
It is late and I felt tired… to bed now…Sweet dream (to myself).
My dad and I
My dad called, he told me he is bored and do not know what to do.
My dad is always the 'head of the house', the king. Since the family formed, he is always the man in charge, but he is a tyrant. The only house rule he have is 'Whatever I say or I do, I am always right, and you must agree with me'.
We are living in fear under his shadow for more than twenty-five years. I remember well that I am not allowed to wear jean, because it project a 'gangster' image, same as having a haversack. I always wore pants and sling school bag. Anything I do wrong, I will be punished. His punishment is always mental torture, he will always take away things we love or introduce and forced us to do things we do not want. Any quarrel will not end within a week and are likely to last for weeks. He has no friends due to his character. He always says friends are meant to be used; only make friends if you can use them. What kind of teaching is this?
My mum is an orphan, she have no where to run, and she is always taking care of myself and my brother. She has always suffered dearly in our growth.
7 years ago, we can stand him no more. He objected to my courtship, due to my then girlfriend (my separated wife now) is not a Cantonese as who we are. This is absolutely absurd; she is at the very least a Chinese Singaporean. We left, we rented a house and stay together till my marriage and I got a Jumbo flat for my family, my mum and my brother staying together. I knew what he want, he always wanted me to married someone rich.
My mum and my brother don't want to talk to him anymore. I think it is fair. Although I still contact him as and when, as least to know that he is ok and I visited him at times too. At the very least, he is still my dad.
Today, he told me he is bored. I wanted to say, I am lonely and I am staying alone too. But I didn't. I did not tell him I am separated. I do not want him to know that I have family problem as he is now. What an irony, I left home for my marriage and now what I get is just an empty home as he. The difference is I do not know what I am wrong, and he knew exactly what is wrong but unable to change (my mum did tried to reunite with him for a year, but he goes back to square one).
I am on leave on Friday, I will be paying him a visit and we will go bowling together. I knew he is healthy; I am worried about his mental health, because he does not have friends as he hurt all his friends. He has hurt me badly too, undeniable but he is still my dad. He is still family.
My dad is always the 'head of the house', the king. Since the family formed, he is always the man in charge, but he is a tyrant. The only house rule he have is 'Whatever I say or I do, I am always right, and you must agree with me'.
We are living in fear under his shadow for more than twenty-five years. I remember well that I am not allowed to wear jean, because it project a 'gangster' image, same as having a haversack. I always wore pants and sling school bag. Anything I do wrong, I will be punished. His punishment is always mental torture, he will always take away things we love or introduce and forced us to do things we do not want. Any quarrel will not end within a week and are likely to last for weeks. He has no friends due to his character. He always says friends are meant to be used; only make friends if you can use them. What kind of teaching is this?
My mum is an orphan, she have no where to run, and she is always taking care of myself and my brother. She has always suffered dearly in our growth.
7 years ago, we can stand him no more. He objected to my courtship, due to my then girlfriend (my separated wife now) is not a Cantonese as who we are. This is absolutely absurd; she is at the very least a Chinese Singaporean. We left, we rented a house and stay together till my marriage and I got a Jumbo flat for my family, my mum and my brother staying together. I knew what he want, he always wanted me to married someone rich.
My mum and my brother don't want to talk to him anymore. I think it is fair. Although I still contact him as and when, as least to know that he is ok and I visited him at times too. At the very least, he is still my dad.
Today, he told me he is bored. I wanted to say, I am lonely and I am staying alone too. But I didn't. I did not tell him I am separated. I do not want him to know that I have family problem as he is now. What an irony, I left home for my marriage and now what I get is just an empty home as he. The difference is I do not know what I am wrong, and he knew exactly what is wrong but unable to change (my mum did tried to reunite with him for a year, but he goes back to square one).
I am on leave on Friday, I will be paying him a visit and we will go bowling together. I knew he is healthy; I am worried about his mental health, because he does not have friends as he hurt all his friends. He has hurt me badly too, undeniable but he is still my dad. He is still family.
Mo Cuishle
I am very sick in the afternoon, nobody noticed.
I felt my head is spliting apart, it must be due to insufficient sleep recently.
I am sorry I can't take care of you tonight, Russell, Mo Cuishle, 'My Darling, my blood'.
I felt my head is spliting apart, it must be due to insufficient sleep recently.
I am sorry I can't take care of you tonight, Russell, Mo Cuishle, 'My Darling, my blood'.
Setting a target
I just got my book, costed me S$134. Nowadays, books are really costly.
I will set myself a target to attain CCNA before the end of this year. That will leave me with 3 months to go for it. It is time to drop my novel, etc... back to study and focus my mind back to technical terms. Here I come.
A Song that touches me.
I will like to share a song that touches me.
歌曲：我真的受伤了
歌手：张学友
窗外阴天了 音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了 音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了 人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了 你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎麽你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了 是你变了
灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了 人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了
歌曲：我真的受伤了
歌手：张学友
窗外阴天了 音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了 音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了 人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了 你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎麽你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了 是你变了
灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了 人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
More Blogs? Welcome and Thanks for reading.
I notice more and more blogs are appearing. I begin to notice blogs from ex-colleagues, friends and former classmates too. If you have a blog, share with me.
I will also like to thanks all of you reading this blogs, especially the friends who cares for me, who tried to understand me. You are the best. Yesterday and Today, I knew 3 of you who have been following my blogs, I am so touched. Thanks you, if you have a blog too, share with me, I will definite follow too, if I have not already doing that.
I will also like to thanks all of you reading this blogs, especially the friends who cares for me, who tried to understand me. You are the best. Yesterday and Today, I knew 3 of you who have been following my blogs, I am so touched. Thanks you, if you have a blog too, share with me, I will definite follow too, if I have not already doing that.
Monday Red! not Blue.
Today, I wear a red shirt to work. I wish I have a bright and cheerful week ahead.
The reaction is mixed, most colleagues says it is nice and matching, but a male colleague says I look like a red packet. Do I look that bad? Well, I guess, to each his own, I need not care what other says, I live for myself, not for others.
The table tennis practice go well, we start our practice on time. I lack the fury I have last week, only manage to win 8 out of 9 matches. But I managed to return more attacks today, which I am very satisfy. I left early from the practice today, because I will met my friend to complete our promise to watch the movie 'Myth' together (refer to 'The ruined evening' posted last week).
I do not care what other says, but I appreciate the movie a lot. A lot of effort was put in for the good show. But I think the actress (a Korean) is beautiful but lacks character, she seems a doll. I could not feel the undying love that lasted hundreds of years. On the other hand, I felt the undying loyalty the soldier and the war horses has shown the general. I guess this is a man's movie, just like the TVB drama I am following, it is about police trainees. Guys will have better appreciation because we have went through similar training during our army days.
Upon returning home, I turn on my recorded program, the International Varsity Debate. It is between a Malaysia University against a China University. The theme is '好心必有好报'. From the beginning, I believe the opposition will win because it is much easier to prove that not all good deed will yield kind reward. Everyone should have experience that before, it is reality. But I agree that it will not stop us from doing good deeds because we will feel good, even with no rewards. As I predicted, the Opposition Team from China won 4 votes to 1. Actually, the Malaysian University has done a good job, it is just their luck to be proposition that is very disadvantage to them. Personally, I will choose the 4th Speaker from Opposition (徐纯) as the best speaker, the conclusion he made is totally outstanding. I will look forward for their finals. The DVD recorder did a wonderful job, produce great quality recording, digital is always better the analog, just as I have learn in my Poly class.
The reaction is mixed, most colleagues says it is nice and matching, but a male colleague says I look like a red packet. Do I look that bad? Well, I guess, to each his own, I need not care what other says, I live for myself, not for others.
The table tennis practice go well, we start our practice on time. I lack the fury I have last week, only manage to win 8 out of 9 matches. But I managed to return more attacks today, which I am very satisfy. I left early from the practice today, because I will met my friend to complete our promise to watch the movie 'Myth' together (refer to 'The ruined evening' posted last week).
I do not care what other says, but I appreciate the movie a lot. A lot of effort was put in for the good show. But I think the actress (a Korean) is beautiful but lacks character, she seems a doll. I could not feel the undying love that lasted hundreds of years. On the other hand, I felt the undying loyalty the soldier and the war horses has shown the general. I guess this is a man's movie, just like the TVB drama I am following, it is about police trainees. Guys will have better appreciation because we have went through similar training during our army days.
Upon returning home, I turn on my recorded program, the International Varsity Debate. It is between a Malaysia University against a China University. The theme is '好心必有好报'. From the beginning, I believe the opposition will win because it is much easier to prove that not all good deed will yield kind reward. Everyone should have experience that before, it is reality. But I agree that it will not stop us from doing good deeds because we will feel good, even with no rewards. As I predicted, the Opposition Team from China won 4 votes to 1. Actually, the Malaysian University has done a good job, it is just their luck to be proposition that is very disadvantage to them. Personally, I will choose the 4th Speaker from Opposition (徐纯) as the best speaker, the conclusion he made is totally outstanding. I will look forward for their finals. The DVD recorder did a wonderful job, produce great quality recording, digital is always better the analog, just as I have learn in my Poly class.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Thank you, I know you care.
I have read words for words in your Blog, those word on 'Life' will not be forgotton.
We will be growing through it.
Thank you, my friend.
We will be growing through it.
Thank you, my friend.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
My weekend Blog
It is the same for both nights, Yesterday and today, going to sleep after a drink.
What drink? XO + White Rum + Orange Juice.
It taste like long island tea, if you have try before.
But there is a different, my mum visit me today.
Guess she is worry I am lonely...
I am, but I can live with it, and look for things to do alone.
Today, we watched TVB drama the whole day, keeping each other accompanied.
The feeling of bonding.... it feels good...
Just before I write this blog, my friend yahoo me again, just before she leave the line.
The 2 lines she wrote is enough to cheer up my day, if you happen to read this, please drop me a note if you see me online if you think I am your friend. I will be grateful.
Once, I read a story from the book 'Chicken Soup of the soul'.
It wrote that a youngster is in great hunger and a women gave a glass of water to him.
After Twenty years later, the woman is poor and sick. The doctor did operations for her and helps her recover, she is no doubt very grateful to the doctor. She asked 'how can I ever replay you?". The doctor repliced "You have, the glass of water, twenty years ago' has paid for everything and more." This story has always touched me and always tell me that a bit of negligible effort from you can means a lot to the one in need.
I have installed my SCV today, I hope my boy will love it when he see it tomorrow. I will be fetching him tomorrow morning at 8.30am. I miss you, my son...
Sleep well, daddy will see you tomorrow...
What drink? XO + White Rum + Orange Juice.
It taste like long island tea, if you have try before.
But there is a different, my mum visit me today.
Guess she is worry I am lonely...
I am, but I can live with it, and look for things to do alone.
Today, we watched TVB drama the whole day, keeping each other accompanied.
The feeling of bonding.... it feels good...
Just before I write this blog, my friend yahoo me again, just before she leave the line.
The 2 lines she wrote is enough to cheer up my day, if you happen to read this, please drop me a note if you see me online if you think I am your friend. I will be grateful.
Once, I read a story from the book 'Chicken Soup of the soul'.
It wrote that a youngster is in great hunger and a women gave a glass of water to him.
After Twenty years later, the woman is poor and sick. The doctor did operations for her and helps her recover, she is no doubt very grateful to the doctor. She asked 'how can I ever replay you?". The doctor repliced "You have, the glass of water, twenty years ago' has paid for everything and more." This story has always touched me and always tell me that a bit of negligible effort from you can means a lot to the one in need.
I have installed my SCV today, I hope my boy will love it when he see it tomorrow. I will be fetching him tomorrow morning at 8.30am. I miss you, my son...
Sleep well, daddy will see you tomorrow...
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Plans for the Weekend?
No plans at all. Any friends saw this? Call me if you need company?
Guess I will be watching VCD/DVD ("Million Dollar Baby" and "The Interpreter"), playing computer games, perhaps swimming, the last was sometime ago.
My ex-Colleague call last night, we will be arranging to attend the Air-Pistol course. We have attended the Air-Rifle Course last time. As the Air-Rifle is heavy and old, we don't practice much, Air Pistol will be much better.
I got my new glasses yesterday. It is very light and trendy, I like it much.
Today, I have setup most of the stuff for my DMD after his return, guess things will be fine. Phew.....
Tomorrow, may be I can start my study for CCNA, planned a week and no action is not like me huh? So, stop my fiction books and back to technical. Upgrading is one of the way to keep your job, especially IT.
Today's blog is quite unorganise, rite? Piece and pieces. Yeah, because my mind also in a mess.
Better have more exercise tonight to clear my mind and exhaust myself to sleep.
May I sleep well tonight. Oh, last thing, I hope your medical review is fine, you know who you are. :-)
Thursday, September 22, 2005
A ruined evening
My friends of 21 years (since school days) asked me to a movie today. Unfortunately, during dinner, I received a call from my resigned colleague seeking help, a urgent migration. There go my plans... I felt sorry for my friend, have to 'fly kite'. How I wish to go for a movie or even a short window shopping. Well, it is reality, after a mere 5 minute work back in office, I am on my way home.
At my neighbourhood, I though of getting drypers for my 3 year olds. John Little Sale, right! I should have my discount voucher somewhere. Oh no, my boy has taken it on my table the other day, he must have threw it somewhere at his playing corner. Ouch, have to pay the usual price, no discount for me.
Tomorrow will be a quiet day, most of them will be on course. Nevermind, we will have special lunch tomorrow, I have something in mind, let me see whether it will work out tomorrow.
After days of rest, I have a speedy jog today, rather fast while listening to Cyndi's dancing songs on my MP3 players. I miss my table tennis session, the last was 5 days ago.
It is resting time now, enjoying Jacky's Snow.Wolf.Lake (Cantonese Version).
It is playing my favourite song in the musical - '花与琴的流星'.
This specific scene in the musical (8 years ago) is still fresh in my mind, what a brillant performance that night. Kit Chan is also singing at her best in the musical. '等了又等' is another beautiful song.
I hope there will be more musical coming to Singapore, else I can only see it in New York or London. Sigh....
At my neighbourhood, I though of getting drypers for my 3 year olds. John Little Sale, right! I should have my discount voucher somewhere. Oh no, my boy has taken it on my table the other day, he must have threw it somewhere at his playing corner. Ouch, have to pay the usual price, no discount for me.
Tomorrow will be a quiet day, most of them will be on course. Nevermind, we will have special lunch tomorrow, I have something in mind, let me see whether it will work out tomorrow.
After days of rest, I have a speedy jog today, rather fast while listening to Cyndi's dancing songs on my MP3 players. I miss my table tennis session, the last was 5 days ago.
It is resting time now, enjoying Jacky's Snow.Wolf.Lake (Cantonese Version).
It is playing my favourite song in the musical - '花与琴的流星'.
This specific scene in the musical (8 years ago) is still fresh in my mind, what a brillant performance that night. Kit Chan is also singing at her best in the musical. '等了又等' is another beautiful song.
I hope there will be more musical coming to Singapore, else I can only see it in New York or London. Sigh....
My Lunch partners. Love live our friendship.
They are my lunch partners and friends.
Love live our friendship!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
A farewell lunch
Today, we have lunch at Tonkichi, Suntec City. It is great to have lunch with such good lunch partners. But today is also a farewell lunch for a colleague. He does not talk much, which is a contrust compare with me. Though, we do not see thing eye to eye and our working style is totally different, but I still feel a bit sad to see him leaving the organisation. I wishes him having a good career and future in the new organisation.
After he leave, my friend and colleague KH will take over. He is a long time friend since 12 years ago and in a different organisation. We should be able to work effectively together. I will need his co-operation dearly this year end, to consolidate and migrate our application and database. I look forward to work with him again.
I just used the facial lotion recommended by my colleague during lunch time. I felt refreshed and cleanse after apply, it is effective. I am so glad.
Tomorrow, my DMD will be back in company and I am responsible to ensure that he feel at home for all his IT needs, it is going to be some hard works. Luckily, I have get ready the necessary guide and manual to setup the necessary equipment and software tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be a smooth transition.
Well, everyday have its challenge. We will be brave to face it. Come on.
After he leave, my friend and colleague KH will take over. He is a long time friend since 12 years ago and in a different organisation. We should be able to work effectively together. I will need his co-operation dearly this year end, to consolidate and migrate our application and database. I look forward to work with him again.
I just used the facial lotion recommended by my colleague during lunch time. I felt refreshed and cleanse after apply, it is effective. I am so glad.
Tomorrow, my DMD will be back in company and I am responsible to ensure that he feel at home for all his IT needs, it is going to be some hard works. Luckily, I have get ready the necessary guide and manual to setup the necessary equipment and software tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be a smooth transition.
Well, everyday have its challenge. We will be brave to face it. Come on.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
A dear friend
My dear friend chat with me for 2 hrs just a while ago. I am sure she is very tired and in need of rest after 3 days of 'supervision', yet she did not stop encouraging and motivating me. A great friend indeed.
We chat on different subject, the recent rumor, religion, image and my failing relationship. Despite of the encouragement, I still cannot have enough to make the 1st step for reconciliation. I still have fear of being hurt again and deeper. I am sorry, may be I have disappointed you, but I do not want to bluff you by promising I will make the 1st move to reunite. I can't, the pain is still fresh and the wound new.
I have no doubt I can handle the pain currently, but to face the possible deeper hurt, I am not ready yet. Not sure if I will ever be ready.
Now I just wanted to have more great friends that care. I will care for them too. That is a promise.
I look forward for our planned lunch tomorrow and the facial product you will recommend. See you tomorrow, my friend, and thanks for your kind words and blessings.
We chat on different subject, the recent rumor, religion, image and my failing relationship. Despite of the encouragement, I still cannot have enough to make the 1st step for reconciliation. I still have fear of being hurt again and deeper. I am sorry, may be I have disappointed you, but I do not want to bluff you by promising I will make the 1st move to reunite. I can't, the pain is still fresh and the wound new.
I have no doubt I can handle the pain currently, but to face the possible deeper hurt, I am not ready yet. Not sure if I will ever be ready.
Now I just wanted to have more great friends that care. I will care for them too. That is a promise.
I look forward for our planned lunch tomorrow and the facial product you will recommend. See you tomorrow, my friend, and thanks for your kind words and blessings.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Image, Health and fitness
I passed my IPPT this evening. Most properly, this will be my last IPPT, at least I hope.
I have done around 12 ICT already, more than the new law of 10.
I am very happy for myself today, because today's result is a result that I have not achieve for a very long time.
Sit up 5 points
Shuttle Run 5 points
Broad Jump 4 points
Chin up 2 points
2.4Km Run 3 points (11:52 mins)
Although I have never failed my test before, but getting such a high score is very encouraging, usually I will have a score of 13 - 16, but I have a 19 today.
Atlas, my chin up is still my weakness, guess carrying my 3 years old around doesn't really help eh? Haha.
Other than that, my process of doing a face-lift is progressing.
My new glasses is ready next week, and I have dyed my hair and have a haircut today.
But since my hair is still short, the stylist can't actually do much but to shape it and get ready for my next visit.
As I have changed all my clothes to suit my 'reduced' size, these changes is going to help me to achieve a new 'me'. I will be able to achieve more self confidence and get myself out of the dark memory real soon, if I am not already out of it.
Internally, I still wishes for a complete and happy family. My dear friend's family is having a excursion on Sentosa this weekend, how I wish I could have such activites with my 3 years old and her. Nonetheless, I can only pray for her happiness even though she is no longer beside me anymore. I really miss her. I often wonder what is she doing now?
My tears are falling again, what am I doing? I am quite happy today, ain't I?
Yes, I am, it is just another way of happiness that I have got.
I wipe away my tears and thought of my joy.
I knew now, I am happy today, the tears only meant that I did not share it with the people who matter to me most.
I am listening to my favorite song, Madonna's 'You will see' while I am writing this blog.
This song although is my long time favorite, it have special meaning for me now, since exactly 5 months ago, on 17 Apr.
My friends, if you saw this blog , be my witness, you will see.
I have done around 12 ICT already, more than the new law of 10.
I am very happy for myself today, because today's result is a result that I have not achieve for a very long time.
Sit up 5 points
Shuttle Run 5 points
Broad Jump 4 points
Chin up 2 points
2.4Km Run 3 points (11:52 mins)
Although I have never failed my test before, but getting such a high score is very encouraging, usually I will have a score of 13 - 16, but I have a 19 today.
Atlas, my chin up is still my weakness, guess carrying my 3 years old around doesn't really help eh? Haha.
Other than that, my process of doing a face-lift is progressing.
My new glasses is ready next week, and I have dyed my hair and have a haircut today.
But since my hair is still short, the stylist can't actually do much but to shape it and get ready for my next visit.
As I have changed all my clothes to suit my 'reduced' size, these changes is going to help me to achieve a new 'me'. I will be able to achieve more self confidence and get myself out of the dark memory real soon, if I am not already out of it.
Internally, I still wishes for a complete and happy family. My dear friend's family is having a excursion on Sentosa this weekend, how I wish I could have such activites with my 3 years old and her. Nonetheless, I can only pray for her happiness even though she is no longer beside me anymore. I really miss her. I often wonder what is she doing now?
My tears are falling again, what am I doing? I am quite happy today, ain't I?
Yes, I am, it is just another way of happiness that I have got.
I wipe away my tears and thought of my joy.
I knew now, I am happy today, the tears only meant that I did not share it with the people who matter to me most.
I am listening to my favorite song, Madonna's 'You will see' while I am writing this blog.
This song although is my long time favorite, it have special meaning for me now, since exactly 5 months ago, on 17 Apr.
My friends, if you saw this blog , be my witness, you will see.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Shocking and Sad Office Incident
I have a few colleagues whom I considered friends. They are friends because they care about me, not only my work (which differentiates them from collegues). Of them, there is a newly joined girl which we shared a lot of similar interests and views (such as we support the same superstar, we like to read Chinese books and play table tennis), naturally, we chatted more with one another.
For the last 2 weeks, she is on course. Still, we SMS each other to keep in contact and arrange time for table tennis. Sadly, I have a feeling something is wrong on last Friday, the tone of her SMS has been distanced. Today, I found out that there is rumor about us. I wonder who is the big mouth who say that. It is not funny, not funny at all.
I am a man on separation with a near 3 year old son and I am 9 years older than she is. Moreover, she have a boyfriend. Obviously, this is going to hurt us and damage our friendship.
I SMS her telling her that rumor does not affect the wise (it is a Chinese saying), I hope it does not affect our friendship. I think we have a agreement, but we shall be careful to avoid being hurt again.
This incident is really shocking and sad, and it happens in our office. Sigh....
Next Month, I am going to a musical 'Peter Pan' with another colleagues, also a lady. Will rumor spread again? Are there really no friendship between opposite gender? The person who say that must be very childish, and even if he meant as a joke, it is not funny.
I am just a person who want some friends who care and share with me. I treasure my friends, and this incident is not going to cost me. I swear.
I played very well today, winning 9 set straight of the table tennis. :-)
Let me improve my back-hand, I will be more complete in covering all areas.
It is going to be late.... may all my friends have sweet dreams....
Tomorrow will be another day, let all hatred be forgotton and everyday filled with hope.
For the last 2 weeks, she is on course. Still, we SMS each other to keep in contact and arrange time for table tennis. Sadly, I have a feeling something is wrong on last Friday, the tone of her SMS has been distanced. Today, I found out that there is rumor about us. I wonder who is the big mouth who say that. It is not funny, not funny at all.
I am a man on separation with a near 3 year old son and I am 9 years older than she is. Moreover, she have a boyfriend. Obviously, this is going to hurt us and damage our friendship.
I SMS her telling her that rumor does not affect the wise (it is a Chinese saying), I hope it does not affect our friendship. I think we have a agreement, but we shall be careful to avoid being hurt again.
This incident is really shocking and sad, and it happens in our office. Sigh....
Next Month, I am going to a musical 'Peter Pan' with another colleagues, also a lady. Will rumor spread again? Are there really no friendship between opposite gender? The person who say that must be very childish, and even if he meant as a joke, it is not funny.
I am just a person who want some friends who care and share with me. I treasure my friends, and this incident is not going to cost me. I swear.
I played very well today, winning 9 set straight of the table tennis. :-)
Let me improve my back-hand, I will be more complete in covering all areas.
It is going to be late.... may all my friends have sweet dreams....
Tomorrow will be another day, let all hatred be forgotton and everyday filled with hope.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
My 1st Blog
This is my 1st blog. I named my blog as 'Rays of Sunlight', because I wanted to be hopeful everyday. I do not want to dwell on my misfortunates anymore, I wanted to live everyday to the fullest. Most of all, I wanted to be happy and I wanted to share with all my friends.
Life is not easy for me and I am at the bottom of the pit in April and May, when my wife of 6 years decided to leave our family. Worse of all, no reason was given and no quarrel between us. Just a sudden request of break off.
It will be 5 months after 2 more days since that unforgetable day. But in this period of time, I have read many books, mostly about marriage, healing, love and emotion control. I have managed to heal and control my feeling now and I will like all my friends, especially 'jetterweb', who suffered to look into the light again, just like a reborned phoenix.
I will like to thanks my friend A. Chang for her guidance during my painful times, and also all the friends that have helped me in my process of healing.
I have made so much changes for the better now, it is amazing. I am more healthy, patience, and most of all, I enjoyed my time more, no matter whether I am alone or accompancied. I can see that nothing is forever, and I will treasure every moment now.
May you be enjoying the 'Rays of Sunlight', always.
Life is not easy for me and I am at the bottom of the pit in April and May, when my wife of 6 years decided to leave our family. Worse of all, no reason was given and no quarrel between us. Just a sudden request of break off.
It will be 5 months after 2 more days since that unforgetable day. But in this period of time, I have read many books, mostly about marriage, healing, love and emotion control. I have managed to heal and control my feeling now and I will like all my friends, especially 'jetterweb', who suffered to look into the light again, just like a reborned phoenix.
I will like to thanks my friend A. Chang for her guidance during my painful times, and also all the friends that have helped me in my process of healing.
I have made so much changes for the better now, it is amazing. I am more healthy, patience, and most of all, I enjoyed my time more, no matter whether I am alone or accompancied. I can see that nothing is forever, and I will treasure every moment now.
May you be enjoying the 'Rays of Sunlight', always.
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