Weight Loss Plan

After 2 months of exercising, I have lost 7kg.

4 more kg to reach my phase 1 target. And phase 2 will be another 8 kg.

I am walk/jog every evening (as long as I am not going out) for 5.8km, usually between 55min to 1 hr.

Diet has also changed.

I no longer take Carbohydrate, and mainly eating vegetables and meat only.

I only eat between 12 noon to 8pm. 

And I drink a lot of water now.

I think and I hope it is all worth it.

 

A painful note drafted for her... (24 Nov 2020)

Dear, I have decided to take a break from our relationship. Recently, especially this year, we are not communicating anymore. You are always busy with your classes, family issue and work. I am not longer involving and no longer needed. I am feeling distanced and disconnected. We are communicating minimally by text and meet up merely 2 hours per week. It is no longer enough to stay in healthy relationship. I had feedback repeatedly on this. I understand that this is a tough period for you. But I am no longer happy, we used to do things together and now we no longer do so. I wrote this with great difficulty and I have tried to get your response and attention, but sadly I do not see changes. I no longer know details of your life, I do not know your class schedule, your baking business plan, etc. we no longer go for walk together, watch video/movie together, play games, visit performances, exercise, or shopping together. Covid 19 may be a factor, but not entirely. I am drained waiting for your availability and impromptu dinner. I tried to enjoy every little moment with you but it is never enough. I am sorry but I have to take a break.

I know this period is tough for you, with the family drama, etc. But I do not understand my priority is losing to baking classes. You are willing to spend weekend at friend’s house experimenting baking but not spending time with me. You have menopause and not feeling well, but it has been too long. Menopause cannot be use as an excuse of not spending time together and I will care for you. I have waited you for years, giving you time to get use to the symptoms, but the more I give way the more I am losing you. Do you know that when I say "I love you" to you, your respond is mostly half hearted? May be you did not feel it, but I guess you do know that you did not initiate that 3 words for a very long time already. While your family rejected me and my mom now telling me she is sad seeing I am treated in this way. We are no longer having blessings from our families now.

I am getting far too many signals that you have changed, became complacent that I will always be there, waiting for your calls and have dinner upon your request. Sorry to say, not really, I do have feelings, and so I have repeatedly trying to get your attention that I am not happy. But sadly things are still the same. I have given enough benefits of doubt to you, requesting for improvement and waiting for it to happen, and I have reached my threshold. I appreciated your companionship for 10 years and 5 months, it is a long time we had together, let us be friends again while you sort out your problems and your feelings, and not having any obligation to me. I believe this will help both you and me. We need this break, this cool down period.

10 years and 5 months since my last post

Interesting... It has 10 years and 5 months since I last posted on blogspot. 

Looking as some of my links, noticed that most of my fellow bloggers also stopped blogging and many stopped in the same year. 

Suddenly, I feel like to write again. 

Most of the time I feel this way is that there is a change in my life, be it positive or negative. 

For this time, I don't know for sure. 

Many things changed in this period of time. 

My weight increased again (and more, ouch) and now is making effort to reduce again. 

It is always a cycle, right? lol 

More or less achieved financial stability, unless something serious happened (touchwood).
Work wise, not my ideal job for sure. But my boss treated me well. Cannot ask for more, especially during the Covid 19 period. 

Mom's health is stable, although minor issue with her eyes and joints, age is catching up on her. 

Quitted most mobile and computer games recently, spending my time to exercise, and some on reading, resting and accompanying my love ones.
If anyone still read blog and reading my blog, any recommended app for updating blog on iPhone?
Lastly reminding myself again, "活在当下“, live at the moment, worry lesser and enjoy life a bit more.

终于画下了句号....

三月二十七号上演,
五月十五号落幕,
一场生命里短暂的剧目终于结束了...

一开始就知道是这样的结局,
却还是灯蛾扑火般的去演,
热烈的燃烧生命,
直到最后.

虽然伤感,却没有后悔,没有遗憾.至少我曾经争取过.
得到的是难忘的回忆和感受,上进心的启发,和一位不可多得的知己.
虽然现在少了一些推动力,却没有完全失去,也肯定了自己的想法.

若然再来一次,我还是会作出同样的选择,做一只灯蛾.
这数月的短暂的时光,比过去六年的空白灿烂得多了.

虽然回到了原点,那最后的拥抱还是给了我很多的温暖和勇气.

May....

4 months plus has passed.....

So many changes have been made....
Most are positives...
Some results are not unexpected... but yet to see if it is positive or negative...

Anyway, 1st Milestone have reached!!! 9 Kg shredded... 4inch of waist reduced....
Back in shape!!! Dress sense improved... Thanks to my volunteer image designers... Haha. Never felt so good/confident for some time already.
Amazing determination. A pat on my own shoulder. haha

Next target, another 5Kg.

Oh, new target too. CISSP certification at July or Sep.
On chapter 3 now. 7 more to go!

During the last 2-3 months. Also met up with a few old friends. Kept my promise to do so. I should really meet more people. Hope to know more people.

Also, inspired to achieve more things in life.... On the other hand, I start to think I deserve better and started feel discontented in life...
And I have started to think about things that I will not think about 6 months ago...
For example, a new relationship, getting a car, get a better position and pay in career, even at the possibility of working overseas.....
The changes shock even myself....... Pray that it is healthy....

It is not easy to go through mindset paradigm shifts.... Let us see how it go....
May be it is just a 3min passion....

Anyway, though they will likely not know. I am so grateful to the group of friends that keep me occupied and giving me advices for the last 2 weeks when I am so down emotionally... I am better now... Woke up in some way.... Thanks, pals.

Haha, not blogging for sometime. Lazy? Perhaps... :-P
Not much details? May be I will write more when I have the mood.
:-)

话剧 "战争与和平 - 男人与女人" @ Espanade

Just watched the performance... the performers and scripts are awesome.
Especially like the line '因为害怕失去, 所以不敢拥有'.

惊喜

太棒了.

三月九号 和 四/五月间的一个星期六!

赶紧买票吧!

1st Month of Changes

About 1 month has passed since I decided for a change.

Reviewing now:
- has been jogging 6 times per week. Increasing from 3km each time to 4.5km each time (since 3 days ago). This is better than I hoped for. Slowly, I will increase the distance.
- Eat less and healthy. Also doing that. More Fruit and Vegetables now.
- Quit online game addition. Also very successful, did not even log in at all since the day I decided to quit.
- Invite friends out. This one is not very successful. Some already have family, hard to come out, and others are busy with activities. Only managed a couple of times only....
- Spend more time with family. This one is also okay, but want more quality time. Need to have some activities with family.
- Spend quality time alone. This one is also okay.

Seems like my personal improvement is getting better, but social wise still need improvement.

Sigh... Introvert is like that, right?... haha...

1st targeted weight lost of 10% is still in-progress. Currently 7.5% achieved. Need more work.

Other than that.... Life is quite routine.... thus not much things to write about on blog....
Hopefully, have more happy things to share.....

My favourite album 'Something to remember'

15 years already, I bought this album in Oxford, when I went for my overseas studies.
I am not really a fan of Madonna, and I certainly does not enjoy many of her dance songs.
But this album is still my favorite. This is really rare, because I am not a person who listen to English music. I could not really remember, but I believe I heard it from a friend's room and decided to own it.

This album have none of Madonna's dance songs, instead, it is a collection of her best sad love songs.

My recommendation:
"I Want You"
"I'll Remember"
"You'll See" (*love this when I have some anger. Haha)
"This Used to Be My Playground"
"Love Don't Live Here Anymore"
"One More Chance"

Today, I am still playing the same CD again. Listen and reliving the moments in Oxford and UK.
Long live the friendships, those dear friends from the university who we still meet regularly.

妈妈住院了...

今天, 妈妈去中央医院复诊, 医生却发现妈妈体内的'Potassium'(钾)过高了. 对于一个有高血压的老人家, 这会影响心脏的运作. 虽然妈妈并没有觉得不舒服, 医生还是坚持她留院观察.
妈妈终于第一次住院了, 虽然她说当作是度假, 可是我知道她是非常不安的. 医生说她需要抽血检验,做心电图测验和观察药物反映. 应该不会超过三天.
我离开的时候, 她还不忘交代要处理明天的早餐, 妈妈就是妈妈, 在她眼中, 我们永远都是她长不大的孩子.
九点的时候, 她打了一通电话来, 医生刚替她抽了血.讲不到几句, 她就怕吵到隔邻的病人, 说要关机睡觉了. 真希望她可以好好的休息.
明天十点, 我将再去看她, 希望有好消息, 医生快点让她出院吧. 回到家里, 她一定又龙精虎猛的.

'听说'观后感

Movie: The spy next door

I felt bored in the afternoon and decided to look for a movie to spent some time.
(This is a actually a side-effect from an appetite suppressant, make me restless) .
So I went to my nearest cinema and found this movie being the most convenience, as I am close to the showtime.

Typical Jacky's movie, Kung-Fu fighting, funny, fooling with the terrorist. Had a few laugh, but nothing really impressive to bring home. The parts about the relationship between Jacky and the children of his girlfriend is mildy touching though.

Anyway, this is a commercial movie, I could ask nothing more.
Comparing to recent movies I watched, such as 'Avatar', '花木兰', '听说', this show is almost forgettable.

Changes

After making the decision to change, I started to correct many things.
1) Exercise, at least 3 times a week.
2) Eat less and eat healthily.
3) Quit the online game addiction.
4) Go out with friends more, and do not wait for their invitation.
5) Spend more time with family.
6) Enjoy some time alone, doing reading and music, healthy stuff.

May be more to add later. But that is for now. I want a Healthy lifestyle.

Before changes, where have I been?

hmm... how to start...
Break into sections then...

Work
I quit my government job and joined retail industry. (Nope, I am not selling stuff now, I am still working on IT projects, just the company is a major retail company) Leaving a company after 8.5 years is hard, but it seems it is going nowhere and lack support from management, might as well...

Afterwork
I am addicted to the online game 'World of Warcraft' for the pass 3 years. One of the main reasons that I stopped writing. I found comfort in the guild, the camaraderie between us guildies make us like a community. Irregardless whether you are from Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Australia or US. 3-5 nights a weeks, we logged online and we take on challenges head on. The road is uneven, the guild nearly fall apart, but we held on, overcome it and continue. And I have always participated in the first kills of every main encounter since late 2007. Soon, I am promoted to officer in the guild and take on more responsibilities. However, after 3 years of it. I felt tired, although the content keeps changing to keep us fresh, I felt I need to move on.... The game should be for fun and not work it like a job. (As a officer, it is almost a given to participate in every activity.)
To think of it, during that 3 years. It is like no move TVs, less reading, less exercise and many things else. Yes, I found comfort, excitement and belong in the game community, but it is still rather virtual, it can be better.
虚拟的世界是用来休息的,不是用来逃避的.

Family
After the divorce, I have been spending time with my son every Sunday..... Until his mum have to move to China, Shanghai to be exact due to her company moving the regional headquarter from Singapore to Shanghai. While I can still see him on screen, using skype or yahoo messager.... I could not longer hold him close and feel his warmth anymore...............
Other than, everyone is healthy, that is something to be glad of.

Health
As I aged, even the army do not require me to perform reservist duty. Offically MR (Mindef reserve) 2 years ago, and due to excessive finger sport (online), I putted on weight. No illness, but not really healthy too.

Everything is kind of routine for the last 3 years, although I still have some fun once in a while, such as attending musicals, watching movies and other standard stuffs. Until recently, in Dec 09 to be exact, I started to feel wanting a change, life can be better...

3 years already...

I started writing blog in Sep 2005, stopped in Jan 2007.
This is Jan 2010, I picked my pen again (or typewriting. haha)

3 years already....

Started writing due to pain, need to offload the emotion...
Stopped, because the need is gone and other hobby kicks in...
Now... back again...
Wanted to change again... A new start....
No pain... but with targets and hopes...

So here I am...

S.H.E Concert

After some much stress and unhappiness this month, I took a break to attend the S.H.E. Concert last Saturday. The concert is very nice, but I do not like everyone standing up and blocking the view of others who prefer to sit down enjoying the music. Also, the traffic is extremely bad, took me 75 minute to reach or leave in Taxi, mostly due to the National Stadium beside, having a soccer match between Singapore and Malaysia.

For the concert, most songs are very familiar to me. But the sound system is not optimised. I enjoyed more of the music on their DVD recorded in Hong Kong's 'red stadium'. Nonetheless, it is still a good break.

However, I discovered that my mobile mail system encountered failure again when I reached home at 1am. After troubleshooting and notifying users, I only manage to sleep after 3am, sigh...

Job & Career

Although I am promised that another promotion application will be submitted this year, I am also told of another important matter.

As Government is centralizing a lot of functions, such as Human Resource, Finance and accounting, for all agencies. Standard Operating Environment (SOE) is for IT centralizing under IDA. The new chairman has decided to push for the earliest opportunity to go on it. Our boss have hinted that our jobs and career will be very uncertain, most likely obsolete. Keeping our open now will be a wise idea. I am grateful for the hint, and certainly I have seen the effect on us clearly.

Well, yeah, just keep a look out, for what I can now. And most importantly, I told myself, do not worry about the current work so much, because job today may not be the same as tomorrow anymore.

Unlucky week

This is a really unlucky week.

I took bus a bus and the bus breakdown in the middle of a busy road, and it is in the rain too.

When using Internet at home, it failed on me and only managed to recover 3 days later.

Also, I have mosquito bites more this week than in a year, mostly thanks to the rainy season that lasted more than a month.

At work, my project required critical changes, and cases/problem increased two fold.

I really should go to the temple to pray for a change of luck, hopefully things will go better.

I wish you a very lucky week, unlike me.
:-)

Happy New Year to you!

My dear friends, Happy New Year to all of you and may all your wishes comes true in the new year!

:-)

Internet Communication

With the Taiwan Earthquake, 6 undersea fibre optic cables were damage causing Asia Internet Access to other region crippled.

For us, IT workers, this really slow us down, loading a page may take minutes.

Worse of all, some analyst expects the repair work may take 2-3 weeks. That is very bad.

Sometime, I think of the world with no Internet, will it be better or worse? haha. It will be take more effort to research for info and lesser sharing to be refered. But, on the other hand, the working life may not be that stressful, like 15 years ago. When computer (during the XT era) are standalone machines. At most connect to Bulletin Board using 56Kbps modem. Well, that is a dream. Everything will evolve and must evolve, changed must be embrace or risk falling behind. That is our life.